December 16, 2011

Best Christmas Present Ever

Posted in Uncategorized at 12:04 pm by whatsupwiththat

I want to put this out there before I procrastinate it, feel the need to not post until it is perfect, or just plain talk myself out of it. I am reading a book about Women, Food and God (only God is more about spirituality than it is whatever form you believe him/her to be. Anyway food issues are big in my life. I eat for many wrong reasons and rarely use food as just noursihment. And I am only half way thorough this book but the idea I am so excited about and want everyone to share in is that by being present in the moment the mindless eating can stop. There is a lot more to it than that and I am having a hard time even staying present enough in the here and now when I am reading the book to fully grasp all of it. My theory about that is I am subconciously fighting the ideas presented. I am still not convinced I can be successful. But back to the best christmas present I can give myself; it is the idea that by concentrating on being in the moment, feeling the feelings, wading through the day to day boredom of just exsisting I can see food for what it really is. Nourishment, plain and simple and each time I don’t give in to the urge to eat mindlessly I am celebrating being me, not hiding from it.
This probably doesn’t make a lot of sense. But I wanted to put it out there, maybe it is just the present you need to give yourself this year.

PSA of the day ~ Give yourself the present of being present.

August 11, 2011

Bert and Ernie. leave them alone!

Posted in Uncategorized at 12:08 pm by whatsupwiththat

I grew up with Sesame Street. One of my first crushes was on Bob, I was so jealous of those little girls that actually were told how to get to Sesame St. and got to talk to Bob. Oh yeah and the muppets too, of course. But I digress, I loved how goofy Ernie was and thought Bert was a stick in the mud. But never did I pick up on a gay vibe! Of course this is coming from the observant gal who as a preteen had my first major crush on a guy who treated me like his little sister and I was devastated. Fast forward to the Facebook age and without stating it outright I can now see he prefers men. I asked a guy I hung out with as a friend to my Junior prom where we had the best time dancing together, all night and I was upset he didn’t lean in for a kiss goodnight. Another friend clued me in when she gushed on and on about the only reason she asked him to her prom was because of the dancing. Admittedly my gaydar may be broken and and that doesn’t bother me because who cares! So it is possible Bert and Ernie are and equally as possible that they aren’t. What gets me is a group of people who did not come up with their concept and have an agenda of their own (I’m looking at you Change.org) have decided to out them (whether they are right or not doesn’t seem to matter) and insist on a civil union. I greatly admire that Change.org is promoting being comfortable with your own sexuality and the choices of others. They have helped a lot of young people (and old as well I’m sure) find a voice and feel part of a larger group and less isolated. I am all for that but I fail to see how forcing their belief that 2 characters on a children’s show are gay and seeking a civil union between them is helping their cause. To me it makes them seem like they are bullying Bert and Ernie and isn’t that what they are fighting against?

August 5, 2011

What I have or haven’t been up to

Posted in Uncategorized at 6:45 am by whatsupwiththat

So I check in with other blogs on a regular basis and have been upset that some of my favorites don’t post as often during the summer and then I checked my last blog. So having taken my proverbial foot out of my mind’s mouth. I thought I would ramble onscreen and please the follower I might have. Hi sis!
I am not even going to give a certain crappy trait I have the satisfaction of naming it here. P*&%#@$tion is whipping my butt, again. Only this time I fear it may cost my husband his sanity. Between looming college costs for our eldest and the market first sliding downhill and now being pushed full speed by a locomotive train called Politicians suck! and his impending job loss (don’t know when just know it is 99.9% likely) He has enough to worry about. I had kind of hoped to not ever return to teaching but see above for why it is obvious I have to. So being the wonderful team player that I am, I have been dragging my heels and instead of applying at the start of summer for this upcoming school year, I waited until a month ago. So now I have 7 applications out there and the phone isn’t ringing. I have not applied for a job online before. I don’t like it at all, so impersonal and I feel like if I could talk to perspective employers I have a much better chance of getting the positions I am after. I don’t know whether they don’t want to pay my salary (10 years with a Master’s pay scale) or if the volume of applicants means there is always someone better qualified at a smaller salary or, my true fear, that they read through my application and wonder “who is she kidding!”
I taught 10 years in a self contained 6th grade class. I loved a lot of the aspects of it but the 2 things that really bugged me were the lack of one on one time I could spend helping students who needed extra help or even just connecting with students who didn’t need extra help and the amount of my own home work that cut into my family time. I knew when I started it came with the job and when I was kidless I would stay after school or get there early to get as much prep work and grading done there as possible. Then I had my son (and then another one) and I could not get home fast enough except that being home meant getting way less school work accomplished. Twice a week I bit the bullet and stayed late at work for a couple of hours and then battled Chicago rush hour traffice to pick up the kids from my mom’s house.
I realize that my sons are old enough now that my bringing home school work won’t take away my time from them but for one reason I am adament about not going back to being a classroom teacher. That lack of time to really make a difference to one student. I know it is possible, other teachers manage it daily, but I guessI am feeling like I have been there and done that and I want something different.
So I am applying for Intervention and Reading coach positions of which there aren’t that many. Add to that I have no real experince doing these positionss, just the fact that I fielded every kind of situation that comes up in a self contained classroom where kids range from gifted to 1st grade reading level and IEP goals were everywhere, along with behavior issues, emotional issues, puberty was (or wasn’t to the dismay of some) rearing its ugly head and girls at that age can become vicious and some boys start practicing to be alpha male way to soon for my liking.
When I said I was going to ramble I meant it! True to my word, here on my blog, if not in real life. So I feel crappy that I didn’t take my need to earn money for the family more to heart and try harder and earlier in the school hiring season to get hired. I have been honest about my reluctance with my husband and my therapist and both have been supportive and understanding. The big elephant in the room is with the job market the way it is and school budgets being slashed, what else am I willing to do to earn a decent salary? I despise the idea of working m-f and not being in the eduction field. I have no truly marketable skills outside the education field….oh wait I can be a florist, did that as a summer job for 7 years of my life. Ideally I would love to be self employed. Ideally ideal I would love to be a published author, but just like a lottery winner you have to have bought a ticket or in my case sent out a manuscript to win.
I guess I am just so tired of being scared and not taking that next step. Once I had finished the applications I felt really good but if I am going to be honest I think I am purposely applying for positions that while in theory I think they would be different and I’d enjoy them, I know it is a long shot. So even as I am fufilling the agreed upon task of applying for teaching jobs I am sabotaging the likelihood of going back to work.

If you have read this far thank you and I am begging you for some kind of response. Tell me what you really are thinking. I need to know.

March 23, 2011

In my own defense

Posted in Uncategorized tagged at 10:38 am by whatsupwiththat

I am kicking procrastination’s butt! No, really, I am! I am getting lots done and every list I make gets almost everything crossed off it and whatever I haven’t done I move to the top of the next day’s list and get it done then… usually…except for one item that keeps geting put on the next list, in fact it has been on every list I have made since my last post. Any guesses as to what it could be?
That’s right Suzy Q! (my go to female imaginary student name when I was teaching sixth grade, the boy name changed a lot but a favorite was Barnaby Jones, but I digress, NOT procrastinate, the 2 are quite different but that is another post, kind of like the one I need to write about how I am the Queen of run-on sentences and what I think that means. And yes I did mention I taught sixth grade but I never allowed my sentences free rein while performing my duties as an educator.) Ahem! I have not yet taken after pix of my clean office and posted them with the before pix I have taken and written that post. So sue me! To make that happen I still need to read the  Blogging for Dummies   edition I bought on how to insert pictures.
(See how I underlined the title of the book I just referenced, that’s from my teacher days.) So I plan on getting right on that when I return form Spring Break with my guys. Or once again I can beg any readers out there to impart their wisdom on how to do bloggy things like that in the comments section. I would be forever grateful!
That’s all for now~
Have a good one~
PSA of the day
*Owning a book is not enough to transfer the knowledge it holds to the owner – You have to read it!*

March 18, 2011

Bed, boxes & beyond

Posted in Uncategorized at 10:48 am by whatsupwiththat

I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. Procrastination and I are done, through, kaput. This going to be short because it is too tempting to babble on here and be swayed into staying in this dysfunctional relationship. In my office/ guest room the bed is covered with paperwork and odds and ends, I am starting there. Then it is on to the boxes and bags that block the book shelves and finally my desk needs to be and remain organized. That’s just for today. I’ll be back tomorrow to report on how well this plan went and sign up for the next tour of organizing and decluttering.
That’s all for now~
Have a good one~
Today’s helpful PSA *Just do it*

March 13, 2011

Queen of the Quiches

Posted in Uncategorized at 10:15 am by whatsupwiththat

Hey everybody!
Celebrating my mom’s 76th today and I made 2 quiches for our brunchy birthday party. One is pretty traditional and the other is organic, crustless and practically dairy-free except for some sour cream. Both look absolutely divine coming out of the oven and I can’t wait to try them and see if they taste half as good as they look. I’ll post the recipes if anyone, someone, a breathing person leaves a comment and is interested in knowing them.
That’s all for now~
Have a good one~
& PSA of the day
*egg white wiped off an old black leather boot leaves behind a nice shine*

March 12, 2011

I have lost my mind…

Posted in Uncategorized at 2:11 pm by whatsupwiththat

it is somewhere in the mega mall parking lot near my house. What was I thinking going to the mall on a Saturday at noon? Oh, that’s right, I wasn’t thinking…I had BB&B coupons burning a hole in my purse and a bridal shower present to purchase. I stopped counting at 9, nine, n.i.n.e times circling the rows of parking near, or even kind of near, the BB&B entrance when I went down a further away row and had to turn around due to an ice berg still in the lot. Spring, where fore art thou?
In the end it was all worth it. I scored the gift I wanted to get and a really cute apron and dish towels to wrap it in. I think I can make it look really cute and will post a pix of it when I accomplish it. Lately the idea of spending so much money on a card and wrapping paper has inspired me to be creative with usable items as part of the wrapping.
That’s all for now~
Have a good one~
& your PSA for today
*stay away from the malls on the weekend*

March 4, 2011

controlling my control issues

Posted in Uncategorized at 1:52 pm by whatsupwiththat

Parenting teens…need I say anymore for those of you reading who have or have had them. How did you survive? Better still, how did you allow them to survive? Before school has become my very least favorite part of the day and I consider myself a morning person, so yeah, it sucks.

I am trying to live by the saying that goes something like: Just because you have failed to plan doesn’t mean I have an emergency.  Or something along those lines.  You get the jist.  But my pesky control issues and my need, want, obsession with being helpful and wanting my sons to start off the day happily gets in my way.  It is excruciatingly hard for me to stand by and watch the panic ensue.  The whining, the groaning, the stomping, the muttering, the slamming all over the need for more pencils (and I think they can be used for currency like cigarettes in jail, the kid goes through so many, that has to be the answer.)  We have lived in this house more than five years, the shelf in my office where pencils are kept has not been changed…EVER.  I will admit my office is not ever always neat but there is a navigable path to those shelves, the pencils are in plain view and I don’t hide them after school and return them to that spot on the shelf in the morning.  It is like the ketchup stored on the door of the refrigerator.  It is always on the right hand side door.  No one in the house ever opens the right side door and finds it; they open both doors, hang on them and say (before the doors are even completely open) where’s the ketchup, or, I don’t see the ketchup.  Why yes, everyone else in the house is male, how did you know?  My niece is over here about once a month and she knows where the ketchup goes.

I suppose I should be grateful that ketchup is not ever needed before school, so at least I have that.  My real pet peeve is the lunch box situation.  I am a stay at home mom.  I enjoy making my sons’ lunches.  (Please see control issues reference above, second paragraph.)  My oldest eats a school lunch about twice a week and  my youngest would rather go hungry than eat cafeteria food.  So in theory, my youngest should leave his lunchbox on the counter every night  for me to fill in the morning and my oldest should leave his lunchbox on the counter on the evenings before the school day that he wants a homemade lunch.  The consequence for forgetting is making your own lunch.  That doesn’t work so well when you leave 5 minutes of time for collecting your backpack, tolerating the droning on of your mother about the day’s schedule and her nosy questions about your own plans, and a frantic search for whatever school supply is urgently needed.  This is his last year of high school and the above scene plays out about once a week. 

On the flip side is my youngest who prefers to wake up an hour and fifteen minutes before he leaves for school, has plenty of time for breakfast, commenting on the news, discussing the day’s weather forecast, wrestling his contacts in (it is going so much better and this is only his third week wearing them!) and the rest of his morning routine, but when I mention he will be making his own lunch, he cheers and proceeds to the pantry to fill his lunchbox with skittles, pringles and marshmallows.  Yes, all those things are in my pantry for various reasons; please don’t judge me.  No way am I letting him take his selections to school for lunch and in all honesty he would prefer a healthier lunch but is yanking my chain and pushing the control issue panic button knowing full well I am going to pull out the carrots (see) and the grapes (see!) and the whole grain tortilla and non-nitrate infested ham (SEE!) and put together a better balanced lunch for him.

So where am I going with this?  Oh yes, pleasant morning send-offs.  I would love to hear what works for your family and hopefully I can glean some ideas that will work with mine.  Have at it!

February 18, 2011

HELP

Posted in Uncategorized at 8:41 am by whatsupwiththat

I hate feeling helpless. without help. unable to assist. Upstairs my son is putting in contact lenses for the 4th time in his life. It is not going well. He has not yet acquired the knack to doing it. I cannot do it for him since I hope one day for him to live in another residence. I know it is not going well from the banging on the bathroom vanity, the loud shouts of frustration. The long pauses of silence are agonizing…did he get one in or is he frantically searching the floor for the slippery piece of saran wrap that would rather curve back to hug his fingertip than cling helpfully to his eyeball and put us both out of our misery. This is agony. I would call a friend to help ease my pain but that seems selfish so I type out my anguish and listen… for exactly what I do not know. He just came down rather calmly (yea!) to show me the lens and asked if it looked right. I concurred that it did and he is back up to the resume the fight. I contemplate calling my mother, she would understand this horrible predicament but again I nix the idea of soothing myself and resume my quiet mantra “please let him get his contacts in.”  Yesterday one tore. The return to wearing glasses was more than he could stand after so many minutes of frustration and he refused to go to school.  I called his bluff and he calmed down and went.  I was able to help ease that pain yesterday with a ride to school and a quick trip to pick up another contact lens …and here we are again.  I realize that there is much worse suffering in the world and this is trivial.  The idea that the vanity of contact lenses can create  any anguish on any level for 2 human beings is laughable .  But here, now, in this moment, I don’t feel like laughing.  And as I type that last sentence he is coming down the stairs after a very long silence from his bathroom…….. Success!  Laughter is now on the horizon and I am off to microwave a pancake on a stick in celebration!

August 3, 2010

I promised an update….

Posted in Uncategorized at 11:29 am by whatsupwiththat

and I am nothing if not a promise keeper.  Emphasis on NOTHING, Ha Ha!  I like the old school version of laughing in text so much better than lol, don’t you? NO, well then let’s move on to something we can agree on….

It has come to my attention that as I boldly move out of the lurking shadows and draw from somewhere deep inside my wretched being the courage to post comments on other people’s blogs I have somehow become a killer of the comment flow.  I put forth my wittiness and the comments from others cease.  This has not happened just once and I am being paranoid, this occurs regularly and so I embrace my paranoidness.  Am I breaking some unwritten rule that if you’re not on a person’s blogroll you dare not comment?  Imaginary people reading this…If I knew how to follow other bloggers I would.  How do I do that?  Where do I go to get Blogging for dummies? I bet it actually exists, I am off to allbookstores.com to search it and an illustrated blog may actually happen this year!

Oh nad as much as I would love to update the UPS (unbelievably pathetic situation) issue I have not heard back from the manager (I know I am shocked too!) so when I have 6 hours to kill I’ll start that phone love fest sometime later this week.  I know pins and needles all around!

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